It is what it is

And I was staying afloat enough to feel connected to earth, to life and yet I so wanted to succumb and let myself go; at times nothing mattered and others day I was so full of life and meaning that it was hard to cone to terms with those extreme when i was able to see it for what it wa

 And I was staying afloat enough to feel connected to earth, to life and yet I so wanted to succumb and let myself go; at times nothing mattered and others day I was so full of life and meaning that it was hard to cone to terms with those extreme when i was able to see it for what it was: a constant fight between what i wanted and what i was actually feeling.

 I walked a fine line between life and death in my head and the truth is, at times letting go was so freeing and yet something deep down kept telling me to hold on, to wait and it was during these days when I was half submerged, half living, half dying and waiting for the cloud of darkness to ease a bit and then allow me to resume my fight for life again. 

Perhaps thats life, a balancing act of staying afloat and yet part of you submerged; a balancing act of happiness and sadness and looking up to the sky for a sign that tells you to keep on going as all fibers of your being wants to just give up and somehow some faith or resignation comes through and you take it one day at the time but not knowing where it may lead but hoping for the best, whatever that may be.